New Years Resolutions

Dr. Andrew Timbs

should people make news resolutions
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people should make new year’s
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resolutions if they’re actually watching
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this video on January 1st if they’re
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watching it on December 23rd
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they should make December 23rd
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resolutions waiting miraculously to win
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the calendar flips to start making your
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life better is silly at best and pisses
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me off at worst and so whenever you’re
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watching this because it lives on the
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internet and thus that means you could
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watch this on June 17th make a
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resolution every day of your life
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because you only get one at-bat the
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reason people struggle with having a new
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year’s resolution and sticking to it is
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because it was a tactic to do a new
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year’s resolution hence why my first
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answer was right which is when you
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actually decide to make a change in your
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life whether about weight or job or
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going out with somebody or relationships
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that’s when you actually pull it off
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it’s religion not tactics
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statistics show that 95% of the people
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that actually made a new year’s
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resolution have already broken it by
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today and that’s if you even made a
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resolution I mean think about it most
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people don’t even make a resolution
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anymore why because they’ve made them
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from years and years and years and they
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know they’re not gonna follow through so
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after a while who wants to disappoint
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yourself who wants to be upset with
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yourself why even bother to set a new
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standard for this year you know it’s
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gonna be the same as last year so the
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question is you know what is it that
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makes us even want to make a resolution
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resisting question why is it at the
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beginning of the year we have this
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tradition but it goes beyond tradition
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it’s something inside of us that makes
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us want to make things better and I
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think part of it is the calendar gives
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us this idea that we can have a fresh
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start that we can it start from fresh
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and have this great victory let’s use
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the calendar to serve you today
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let’s just see what does it really take
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to make this thing happen because
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there’s no denying that inside of you
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the only thing that’s gonna make you
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happy and the year ahead and the decades
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ahead it’s gonna be having you have an
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experience where on a regular basis you
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feel like your life is making progress
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so the secret to real happiness is
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progress progress equals happiness and
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if we can make progress on a regular
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basis we feel alive and that’s why at
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the beginning of the year we get this
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thing like okay I can have this fresh
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start I could really do what my soul
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desires I could expand I could grow I
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can improve I could change or maybe
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better than change I could progress so
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if you want to make real progress then
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you really got to look at your life in a
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different way you gotta say I gotta take
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control of this process and not just
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hope that’s gonna work out like people
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do who make a resolution cuz really
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isn’t what they’re really doing at the
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beginning of the year they’re saying
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well here’s my resolutions for the year
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and they really basically tell you their
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wishes it’s their wish list it’s what
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they hope it all comes together and then
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they call it a resolution but they don’t
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know what a resolution is when you
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resolve something to have a resolution
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is to resolve it when you’ve resolved
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this is how it’s gonna be that’s when
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you cut off any possibility except the
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thing you’ve committed to make a
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resolution every day of your life
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because you only get one app back
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most people they’re stating what they
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hope will come together and if it
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doesn’t happen then they’re disappointed
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but they’re not too disappointed cuz
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they’re not too vested what does it take
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to successfully create a lasting change
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in your life to not only have a new
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year’s resolution you follow through on
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that really have a lasting change well
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the first step for lasting change is
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very much like making a new year’s
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resolution fundamentally it’s the same
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the first step is you got to have a
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vision a vision for what it is you
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really truly want I mean one of most
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people’s New Year’s resolutions I’m
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gonna stop eating sugar you know I’m
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gonna stop smoking I’m gonna lose 10
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pounds toppled that is it’s not very
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inspiring for most people you know it’s
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not telling you what you’re gonna get
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it’s only what you’re not gonna do and
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it’s kind of hard to have you move
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forward with that a vision is about what
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you’re here to create a vision that
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really works is one that excites you if
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you say well mine you know my resolution
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my goal my how come for this month this
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week this year is to lose X number of
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pounds that’s okay but it’s not very
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compelling it has to be a compelling
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vision it’s gotta have something has the
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power to pull you not something you have
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to push yourself to do those are two
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different kinds of motivation push
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requires willpower and willpower never
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last what will last is pulled having
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something so exciting so attractive so
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some of you desire so much that you have
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a hard time going to sleep at night and
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gets so up early in the morning to a
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rocket and take it to the next level
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that’s what you’re looking at great and
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that wasn’t easy to get
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and the bottom line of our
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follow-through comes down to our
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emotional intensity you gotta have
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strong enough reasons that you’re gonna
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follow through and the going gets tough
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they don’t have strong enough reasons to
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push themselves through what’s gonna be
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necessary to get that dream to get that
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goal when the inevitable challenges come
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up when you’re starving hungry and
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you’re trying to go on a diet right when
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you got no time you’re stressed out you
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haven’t worked out still that’s what
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you’re supposed to do when the economy
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gets tight and what you thought you’re
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gonna do doesn’t work and so you give up
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on the goal instead of finding another
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way to get there you don’t let the fear
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take you over if you’ve got strong
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enough reasons reasons come first
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answers come second if you’ve got a
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compelling vision and you got strong
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enough reasons that will push you
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through the tough times you’re gonna do
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things other people don’t do instead of
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collapsing even if you get off target
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you won’t go I blew it you’ll get right
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back on target make the change make
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things happen if we do our best when our
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destinations are beyond the measurement
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when our reach continually exceeds our
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grasp and when we have a more Toole
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finish line and when we do this the race
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is never over journey has no port the
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adventure never ends because we are
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always on the way so do this do this and
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let them let somebody else come up and
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tap you on the shoulder and say hey you
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score it let them run up and tap you on
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the show and say Mindy you want
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let them come tell you you go home now
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let them say I love you too
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let them say thank you take the lid off
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the man-made roofs that we put above
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ourselves and always play like an
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underdog when you really get clear and
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it’s compelling and you’re reviewing it
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every day got strong reasons you’re
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viewing it every day and you’re feeling
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it the brain becomes incredibly acute at
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noticing anything to get you to move
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forward you know what do people do with
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New Year’s resolution they come up with
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something they kind of want it’s not a
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compelling vision they don’t really have
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strong enough reasons and they never
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review it again until they notice that
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they broke what they said they really
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want to have make happen because they
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didn’t really resolve if you resolve you
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got the vision it’s compelling you
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review it daily and you feel it you
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envision it and you experience it simple
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as it sounds now ultimately what is this
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really about ultimately if you’re gonna
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have lasting change in anything you’re
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really talking about just raising your
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standards raise your standards what does
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that mean corny as it sounds raise your
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standards I’ll thank you for the
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breakthrough thought Tony
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lasting change is different than a goal
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you don’t always get your goals but you
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always get your standards but when you
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decide something as a must for you an
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absolute must when you cut up any
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possible you say I’m gonna find the way
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I’m gonna make the way human beings when
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they resolve things and they have make a
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real resolution inside themselves which
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is they raise the standard they make it
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a must they find the way
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if you say sent to me well I’m really
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gonna work hard to stop smoking but you
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know I’ve been a smoker my whole life
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and I’m you know I am a smoker I know
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your days are numbered you’re gonna be
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back smoking cigarettes again because we
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all act consistent with who we believe
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we are
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I tell people the strongest force in the
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whole human personality is this need to
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stay consistent with how we define
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ourselves
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if you define yourself as somebody who
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is really conservative you’re not gonna
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be crazy and act nuts unless you’re
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really drunk or something and then you
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can say it’s the alcohol when it really
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does you finally getting permission to
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be yourself the alcohol is your excuse
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if you’re a really crazy person you act
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crazy outrageous playful you don’t have
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conservative because that’s not who you
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are very often people say well I can’t
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do that I’m not that kind of person and
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I always say to people really when did
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you define yourself I mean very often we
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made decisions in our youth or very
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young about what to believe about what
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we were capable of about who we are as a
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person and that becomes the glass
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ceiling if you will that controls us
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we’ll Bauer doesn’t last but Richards
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can last a lifetime I bet you have some
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rituals in your life right now you’ve
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been doing for years even though some of
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them don’t serve you I’m just saying
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wake yourself up make you want a new
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year and a new life you don’t need to
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start in January first start today start
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with this little video
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then how’d you knew you’re coming out so
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far when did you define yourself I mean
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really how many years ago did you come
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up with what you could and couldn’t do
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in your life how many years ago most
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people if they really look at how
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they’re living their life today it’s
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based on a set of standards a set of
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beliefs that they made choices about 10
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20 30 or more years ago
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you